


Memories

by And_Penny



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amnesia, Angst, Coma, Heavy Angst, High School, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Multilingual Character, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Temporary Amnesia, Title Subject to Change, so much angst holy shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2018-10-08 05:56:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10379970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/And_Penny/pseuds/And_Penny
Summary: After three years of the same old hell for Alex, something finally changes.But maybe not in the way he had hoped.(Title subject to change)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually something I wrote last year as an English assignment, but with different names. After some minor edits, the story seemed to fit our lovely lams very nicely! Please let me know what you think!

Someone was crying. Why was someone crying?

He opened his eyes.

John’s head pounded in his skull as he looked around the unfamiliar room. The scent of bleach and over-sanitization flooded his nose. Across the room was a bouquet of flowers that had been dead for way too long to be pretty. He blinked several times and sat up.

Just then, he spotted the source of the tears; a man sitting in a chair with shoulder-length, jet black hair covering his face. The man looked up. He had beautiful, dark brown eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. He was stunning. It was his best friend from high school. He seemed older than John remembered, but definitely still himself.

Then the man spotted him. His already bright eyes lit up even more with joy as he ran over. “John!” His friend said nothing more, as though it wasn’t possible to speak without crying. Now they were hugging. What was going on?

“Hi Alex.” John said, his voice creaking like an old house, “What happened?”

There was a pause as his friend’s face went dead serious. He wet his lips, and spoke. “You had a really bad accident that left you in a coma. This is the first time you’ve opened your eyes, much less spoken, in three years.”

That was right. He was remembering something about that.

“And I’m your boyfriend.” he said that part slower, like it might be harder to comprehend.

No. That couldn’t be right. He didn’t have a boyfriend. He had never dated anyone, much less another man. Alex was nothing but a friend. His best friend, albeit, but nothing more. John shook his head. This was wrong. This was all wrong.

“Where’s my dad,” John demanded as he sat up fully in bed, “How old am I now, and why are you lying to me?”

“I’m not lying to you, I promise.” Another pause. “Your father,” he continued, his voice softer, “Is not here. He disowned you when you came out. You’re 20 now.”

John looked up at the too-white ceiling in disbelief. “The doctors told me this might happen.” Alex continued, talking more to himself than anyone, “That you might forget some or all of what you were like before the accident, but I didn’t think it would actually happen.” He was on the verge of tears again, “I thought you would remember all of it.” His attention refocused to John. “Please tell me you remember all of it.”

“I don’t remember.” John’s voice was void of any emotion.

“That was just a joke, right? You’re pulling my leg.” He was desperate now. “Ha. Good one, John.”

“I’m sorry.” Tears were falling freely down Alex’s face.

“Oh my god, you’re really serious.” This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. John was supposed to wake up and remember, but that must’ve been too much to ask. Nothing ever went his way. Ever since he was orphaned at 14, he had never gotten what he wanted. He could still picture his mother sometimes. She was the best woman he had ever known. She loved him, supported him, and took care of him. Of course that was before she got sick and died in his arms. Nothing had ever gone his way, so why was he stupid enough to believe that it would now?

“Of course,” Alex mumbled, his voice growing, “I’m the only one who actually loves you for who you really are, and you don’t even remember!”

“Alex, calm down.” This was too much. It was all too much. The room, the friend, his massive headache. It was just too much.

“No.” Alex continued, fueled by fury, his voice getting louder still. “Your own parents deserted you because they didn’t understand. My adoptive family left me behind because I knew that I love you more than I have  _ ever  _ loved any of them. None of them have said a word to either of us since they found out. I’m the one who has paid for your hospital bills, the one who has done everything for both of us. I dropped out of high school so that I could help you because no one else wanted to have  _ anything  _ to do with us. I gave up my dream of Princeton for you. I have loved you unconditionally, even while you weren’t awake enough to know it, and what do I get in return?”

“Alex, please!”

“I get nothing!” his chair went flying, “I know you can remember. I know the memories are there, we just need to get them out.” Alex was pacing like a tiger in a tiny cage.

“I really don’t remember. I promise I’m telling the truth.”

“It’s there, John.” He was pleading again. Alex swallowed hard and closed his eyes.

“Remember that time we were walking in the woods and we kissed for the first time? Or when I was so upset about losing a game of chess that you threw away the entire board?”

John shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

“The time that I punched Thomas Jefferson in the face because he called you a faggot?”

“Alex, telling me these things aren’t going to help me. It’s not going to change anything.” His voice was getting louder despite his efforts to calm down.

“The time you cried in my arms after your dad left you for dead!”

“Alex, stop! This isn’t helping!”

“I know it’s there, John!” his voice cracked. “Tell me it’s there.”

“It’s there.”

“You’re lying to me.”

“You told me to tell you it’s there, so that’s what I’m telling you!”

“Tell me the truth!”

“I don’t remember!” John was screaming at the top of his lungs now and he could feel tears streaming down his face. He didn’t care if the rest of the hospital heard this. he didn’t care if the whole world heard this. He turned so that his back was facing Alex, still shaking from the sudden rush of adrenaline, and felt Alex’s hand on his shoulder.

“John, look at me.”

He obeyed.

Then, in one fluid motion, Alex kissed him on the lips. John tensed at the unwelcome sensation. The shock must’ve shown on his body, because the kiss ended almost as suddenly as it had begun.

Just then, a tiny sliver of memory revealed itself in John’s brain. He and Alex were somewhere in the woods. John was standing next to his favorite tree with his best friend. They had done the exact same thing plenty of times before, but that time had been different somehow. And then… nothing.  Something strange had flooded his senses. Something calm and urgent at the same time. Something… good.

“Shit,” Alex started, realizing what he had just done, “I’m sorry I’m so sorry I-”

“Do that again.”

“What?” His shock was evident.

“Kiss me again. I think… I think I liked it.”

“Okay.”


	2. Back To The Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is nervous, Alex is pissed, and Laf is French. What else is new?

_~ Four Years Earlier, August, 2012~_

John Laurens took a deep breath as he walked through the double doors on his very first day of high school.

New school, new people, old secrets.

The excitement of the new year was almost palpable. Seniors a mile tall went over old handshakes with their buds while their Junior friends rolled their eyes and talked about making their last year together the best one yet. Bright-eyed Sophomores excited to no longer be fresh meat shouted across the halls to their friends with more energy in their pinkies than the entire rest of the student body. The Freshmen were easiest to spot; they all looked around nervously, speaking only to those few that they had gone to middle school with and searching frantically for their homerooms, confused by the new school structure.

It was chilly inside and John pulled his sleeves down further, feeling anxious. Everybody was too preoccupied with seeing their friends again to even look his way. _Good. I should just go straight to class._

And that's exactly what he did.

Or, at least, what he tried to do.

“YOU MOTHERF—”

“Alex, please!”

John turned in the direction of the commotion to see a small boy thrashing wildly against a significantly taller, much less wild boy who had the former in some kind of hold with a hand over his mouth. The target of the boy—Alex?—‘s accusation hurried away, followed by another figure with a much more confident and domineering stride.

John saw a few disappointed looking students put their phones away, muttering about the lack of action, while some others seemed much more enthused by the thrill of an almost-fight on the first day. Most people, however, didn't say anything, just continued walking as though nothing had happened. John busied himself with his sweater paws and continued towards class.

  
The late bell rang for homeroom, and the teacher began talking. “Good morning everyone and welcome to Northwest High School. You’re all freshman, right?” Heads nodded vigorously.

“Well my name is Mr. Washington, and I’ll be your homeroom teacher this year. I teach honors and AP U. S. History, so hopefully I’ll be seeing some of you throughout the day today.” His voice was warm and his smile was genuine. John liked this teacher already.

A couple more students filed in just then, heads down and eyes up; their appearance prompted Washington to speak again. “This school is new to all of you, so none of your teachers are expecting you to be perfect at navigating it just yet, and tardies will be excused for the week while you get a feel for the building. Now if you could all stay quiet just a bit longer, I’ll take attendance. When I call your name, please come and pick up the papers on the desks in the front here, and if I get your name wrong, don’t hesitate to correct me.”

None of the students in John’s homeroom seemed to know each other, so the room stayed dead silent aside from, “here” when a name was called.

Washington’s eyes widened at the sight of someone’s name on the roster before attempting to say it as best he could. “Marie Paul… something something-”

“That would be Gilbert Lafayette, sir.” John looked up to see the same tall, less wild boy from the hallway earlier pronounce his name in perfectly crisp French and then get something out of his backpack. A few other people noticed, too, and they looked at him just a little too long before turning away and trying to look anywhere else.

“Perfect.” Washington made a note in the margin of his roster before continuing. “John Laurens?”

“Here.” He stood up and walked to the front of the room to pick up the various forms that always came with the new school year. On his way, he noticed that Gilbert hadn’t gotten up yet, so John got a set for him, too.

When he approached Gilbert’s desk, the boy looked up. “Can I help you?”

_Shitshitshitshitfuckingshit this was a bad idea you shouldn’t have done this you fucking idio-_ “Uh, I saw that you hadn’t picked up the papers from the front, so um here you go.”

Gilbert’s eyes became bright. “Ah, yes,” he took the small stack of papers from John. “Merci beaucoup!”

“De rien.”

“Oh! Tu parle français?”

“Oui.” The grin on Gilbert’s face was priceless. “Je suis allé au collège en France.”

“Laque-”

“Mr. Laurens please take a seat.”

“Sorry, Mr. Washington.” John went back to where he had been sitting, now with a hint of a smile on his face. Gilbert, on the other hand, was practically bouncing in his chair, excited to have met another French speaker.

Some time later, the bell rang for first period and John dashed out of his seat, noticing that his class was at the other end of the building. Talking to Gilbert would have to wait for another time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merci beaucoup! - Thank you very much!  
> De rien. - You’re welcome.  
> Oh! Tu parle français? - Oh! You speak French?  
> Oui. - Yes.  
> Je suis allé au collège en France. - I went to middle school in France  
> Laque- AKA laquelle - which one? (Cut off)  
> Please let me know if any of this is wrong I pretty much just used google translate
> 
> It’s taken forever, but I’m finally back! As of now, one of my (many) New Year’s Resolutions is to post at least once every month and since I missed January, I’ll be posting two this month! I know it’s not much, but at least it’s a start. Also please excuse any weird formatting, I’m doing this on my phone so idk what it’s gonna look like.
> 
> ALSO if any of you have name suggestions for the first chapter hmu in the comments and let me know!
> 
> Your kudos and comments fuel me forever and feel free to shout at my on my [tumblr](http://overfour-sets-of-corsets.tumblr.com/) or you can go to my [main blog](http://harold-the-pansexual-llama.tumblr.com/) if ya feelin fancy <3

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! It's still kinda rough, but I wanted to post it and see what you guys have to say about it. I also kind of wanna write some more of it, but I"m still not sure, so tell me if you would want to read more of this. I think that's all and thank you for reading!!! <3
> 
> You can see my general self [here](http://harold-the-pansexual-llama.tumblr.com/), or talk to me about fics [here](http://overfour-sets-of-corsets.tumblr.com/)


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